we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
