Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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