It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
