I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize