dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
