Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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