Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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