My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's not cheating when I paid for it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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