my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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