I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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