I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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