I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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