And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
