How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
