All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
