I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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