Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
