D3 body, D1 cock
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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