Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
