Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize