I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
