we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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