a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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