Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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