Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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