I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
