Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
