dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
