It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
