we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
