Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
