singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
