I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Sext me about skeletons
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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