if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize