She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sponge bath it is.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Randomize
