they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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