lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
