So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
