I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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