Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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