Umm I'm too high to move.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
