The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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