No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
