Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
