did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
