Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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