you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
