we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize