we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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