Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
