Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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