awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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