Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
