i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
