Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
