ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
