don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
