This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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