idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
